Ideology over reality

Here’s a poem I wrote about the triumph of ideology over practicality. This was based on an actual conversation I had with a vegan, although that conversation didn’t end up quite as unfortunately.

The Vegan
.
“So why are you a vegan?”
I asked her with a smile
Hoping she’d enlighten me
about her eating style.
.
She said, (munching a carrot)
“I’ll tell you just what’s it
Nothing shall get past my lips
that ever took a shit.”
.
I pondered for a moment
Unsure what I could say
I wished not to offend her
Thus ruining her day
.
“But what about the plant life?”
It’s not without its waste
In fact, photosynthesis
Could never be called chaste
.
Oxygen is given off
when changing light to food
The plant can’t help excreting
regardless if it’s rude.
.
So we’re all breathing plant farts
We’d die without the gas
passed by all the daffodils,
chrysanthemums, and grass.
.
She said “Oh now you’ve done it!”
There’s nothing left to do
Now I’ll have to starve myself
and all because of you!
.
I hoped she’d reconsider
and change her meatless ways
perhaps chow down a burger
and steak on Saturdays
.
I should have been more careful
It really is a shame
She lies there, and feeds the grass,
And I’m the one to blame

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