Ideology over reality

Here’s a poem I wrote about the triumph of ideology over practicality. This was based on an actual conversation I had with a vegan, although that conversation didn’t end up quite as unfortunately.

The Vegan
“So why are you a vegan?”
I asked her with a smile
Hoping she’d enlighten me
about her eating style.
She said, (munching a carrot)
“I’ll tell you just what’s it
Nothing shall get past my lips
that ever took a shit.”
I pondered for a moment
Unsure what I could say
I wished not to offend her
Thus ruining her day
“But what about the plant life?”
It’s not without its waste
In fact, photosynthesis
Could never be called chaste
Oxygen is given off
when changing light to food
The plant can’t help excreting
regardless if it’s rude.
So we’re all breathing plant farts
We’d die without the gas
passed by all the daffodils,
chrysanthemums, and grass.
She said “Oh now you’ve done it!”
There’s nothing left to do
Now I’ll have to starve myself
and all because of you!
I hoped she’d reconsider
and change her meatless ways
perhaps chow down a burger
and steak on Saturdays
I should have been more careful
It really is a shame
She lies there, and feeds the grass,
And I’m the one to blame


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