Mid Life Crisis

Lately I have been suffering from middle aged angst. This differentiates itself from teenage angst in that you actually have something to be angst ridden about, since you have a good 35 to 50 years to look back on.

In my case, it came down to one question: “What the hell have you done with your life?” It’s easy to look back and not be able to see anything but the forest of failures, while missing the few trees that managed to survive.

I think more than anything, it’s been a matter of wondering whether I will ever accomplish anything more than existing.

Being nearly 50, I’m trying to figure out what to do with the next 1/3 or so of my life span. I kinda shot the first 2/3 on all kinds of stupid stuff, so the next 1/3 isn’t looking like all that much fun. I’m not suicidal or anything, just trying to figure out a way forward. There are lots of people who managed to reinvent themselves at 50, I’m sure. I guess what I need to do is identify them and start figuring out what I can do t emulate them.

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